Today on the How We Can Heal Podcast, Lisa Danylchuk and Zabie Yamasaki discuss healing through trauma-informed yoga. Zabie walks us through her start in yoga and her path to helping survivors with her trauma-informed yoga program and curriculum.
Listen on Apple | Spotify | Google | Amazon
About Zabie Yamasaki:
Zabie is the Founder of Transcending Sexual Trauma through Yoga, an organization that offers trauma-informed yoga to survivors, consultation for universities and trauma agencies, and training for healing professionals. Zabie has trained thousands of yoga instructors and mental health professionals and her trauma-informed yoga program and curriculum is now being implemented at over 30 college campuses and trauma agencies including the University of California (UC) system, Stanford, Yale, USC, University of Notre Dame, and Johns Hopkins University.
Zabie is widely recognized for her intentionality, soulful activism, and passionate dedication to her field. She is a trauma-informed yoga instructor, resilience and well-being educator, and a sought after consultant and keynote speaker. She has worked with thousands of survivors to support them in their healing journey, ground them in their own worthiness and remind them they are inherently whole. Zabie centers survivors in her work, and provides them with tools to help uncover trauma imprints, support the healing process, create balance of the nervous system, and lessen the grip that past experiences of trauma may have on the heart.
She received her undergraduate in Psychology and Social Behavior and Education at UC Irvine and completed her graduate degree in Higher Education Administration and Student Affairs at The George Washington University. Her work has been highlighted on CNN, NBC, KTLA 5, and The Huffington Post.
Zabie is a survivor, mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend, and activist. She has received countless awards in victim services and leadership, including the Visionary in Victim Services award from one of the largest rape crisis centers in California and the Voice of Courage Award from Exhale to Inhale. She is the author of the book and affirmation deck published by Norton: Trauma-Informed Yoga for Survivors of Sexual Assault: Practices for Healing and Teaching with Compassion.
Outline of the episode:
- [3:19] Zabie’s first yoga experience
- [7:14] The start of yoga teacher training
- [20:37] Understanding how trauma translates into our everyday lives
- [35:34] Everyday grounding and powerful tools from Zabie
- [43:04] Processing stress and learning to rest
- [54:29] The future of trauma-informed yoga
- [1:00:50] What gives Zabie hope these days
Resources:
Website: zabieyamasaki.com
Zabie's book, Trauma-Informed Yoga for Survivors of Sexual Assault
Susana Muńoz Mantra, "I'm not behind or unproductive. I'm doing as much as my mind and body are allowing me to do under perpetual stress and fatigue."
Tell me about you: https://forms.gle/WuF5K8XggF7Spn1A9
Transcription:
Zabie Yamasaki 0:00
I can talk about the neurobiology of trauma and the impact of trauma on the body in the brain. But I want to do it in a way that is acknowledging that, you know, that's not shaming survivors for the trauma symptoms that they do have, or the coping strategies that they've had to rely on to keep them safe. It's, it's from this deep understanding of seeing people and knowing that the journey is not linear. And if you're reading something that's activating that, we can affirm that and acknowledge that this is not easy and that we do really passionate about this work and want to help others and simultaneously recognize our own boundaries within that and to take really good care of ourselves.
Lisa Danylchuk 0:49
Welcome back to Season Two of the How We Can Heal podcast. I so enjoyed sharing season one with you. And we have some incredible guests coming on for season two. I created this podcast because the hard times seem to just keep on coming these days. These guests and I have committed our lives to healing work, and to fostering health and joy in the world, even as we work through the impacts of trauma and face deep challenges. So let's dive in and let's all keep talking about how we can heal. Today, our guest is Zabie Yamasaki. Zabie is the founder of Transcending Sexual Trauma through Yoga, an organization that offers trauma-informed yoga to survivors, consultation for universities, and training for healing professionals. Zabie has trained 1000s of yoga instructors and mental health professionals and her trauma-informed yoga curriculum is now being implemented at over 30 college campuses and trauma agencies, including the University of California, Stanford, Yale and Johns Hopkins University. Zabie is a survivor, mother, partner, daughter, sister, friend, and activist. She's the author of the book and affirmation deck published by Norton, Trauma Informed Yoga for Survivors of Sexual Assault, Practices for Healing and Teaching with Compassion. Her work has been highlighted on CNN, NBC, KTLA, and the Huffington Post. Zabie and I connected years ago, as we were each independently creating training programs in the field of yoga and trauma. We've collaborated and supported one another from afar for about a decade now. And I'm thrilled to have her as a guest on the show. Welcome Zabie Yamasaki. I got the applause. Here they go. You're here. On and on. I'm so happy to be able to have this conversation with you and to be able to share it in all the ways that we do over podcasting, magical platforms. How are you doing today?
Zabie Yamasaki 2:50
I'm doing well. It's such an honor to be here with you and being in this community. I'm just so excited to connect with you all today.
Lisa Danylchuk 3:01
Yes. And I want to start, as you know, with just your journey. Your history. What brought you to yoga and trauma-informed yoga? I was thinking about that. And I was wondering, what was like your very first experience with yoga? Do you remember it?
Zabie Yamasaki 3:19
Yes. You know, actually, my my very first yoga class that I took, I was living in San Diego at the time, I was working as a career counselor at a homeless shelter. And I met two amazing folks, Gil and Tanya, and they had been going to Core Power yoga for some time, and they were always bonding about it and talking about it at work. And, you know, I was curious, but I'm like, no, I don't know about heated yoga. That just sounds like a lot. I don't you know, and it's so interesting because I think for many, many years, my experience with sexual violence and then my work and sort of my self-care tools and the work that I was doing in the world, it was very these, these compartmentalize aspects of my life. You know what I mean? I didn't see the interconnection between the mind body spirit until much later. So one day they're like, zombie Just come with us. It's not a big deal. Just try. And I can tell you, I stood in front of my mirror at home, pulling out different things to where I'm like, do I wear something comfy? Do I wear leggings? I mean, I'm telling you, I had no idea what to expect. And I just remember stepping on to that mat and everything kind of just melting away. You know, there was something about The teacher just inviting us to show up as we are. And I think all of that armor that I had had up for so long. And, you know, I had experienced sexual assault a few years prior to that to being in San Diego, and I wasn't quite, you know, I wasn't quite making the connection yet between, wow, that error is a practice out there that can support me with feeling grounded and supported in my own body, something that helps me move beyond trying to have the words to articulate what I'm feeling, something that allows me to slowly chip away at these layers of trauma really, that I've put up for so long. And so it's hard for me to even find the words to describe it. But it was a pretty magical class. And, you know, after that I was hooked. And I found everywhere that I moved, I was finding local studios and finding ways to practice but it's a new thing, how sometimes you can have just that one experience. And I mean, it really changed the trajectory of my life and my healing journey. And you know what I've gone on to create today. It's kind of I love that question, because I haven't actually thought of.
Lisa Danylchuk 6:26
And it's funny, as you're talking, I'm thinking about my first experience was at UCLA, which you spent a lot of time there on that campus. I don't know if Sunset Recreation Center still is like a little tree house up in the woods. It's probably like, grown a lot since then. But last year, and blossom, the actress. I'm forgetting her her full name, but she was in the class. And she was it was so I felt very like I just moved from Northern California to LA, I felt very like wow, I'm in LA, there's like a superstar in my yoga class. But she was super nice. And it was very mellow. It was like a Hatha level one or intro or something. And I just remember walking back to the dorms, and like the moon was out. And it was very, and I felt so peaceful. And I was like, woah. There's something magical here but never would have thought never would have thought that we'd be here talking all things yoga for decades. But yeah, those those first moments are, are like powerful portals right into into a whole journey. So at what point then you're practicing, you're getting these, like starting to chip away, as you said, some of the armor, or recognize it's there even? And then. And then when do you start teaching? What's that point look like?
Zabie Yamasaki 7:41
You know, I always knew that. Before I went into yoga teacher training, you know, I was carrying my own lens. As a survivor, I knew it was going to look different. I knew that I wanted to build upon this foundation that I was learning in my yoga teacher training, and find my own unique, authentic teaching voice and apply it to the work that I was doing. So professionally, a large portion of all of my professional work has entailed working on college campuses, working within the anti-sexual violence field as a prevention educator, as a healer. Doing basically every job you can imagine that exists within the Sexual Violence Response Center. And, you know, as I was doing that work, basically every day I would be out in the field, whether that was in the community or on campus, giving presentations about sexual assault, talking about the impact of trauma, talking about the unique experience of sexual assault survivors. And every presentation I would facilitate, there would be a number of survivors who would come and disclose to me afterwards. And they were starting to there were these themes that started to emerge. Survivors sharing that they needed something tangible, to help them work through the physiological impact of trauma and triggers that they were navigating every single day: the the flashbacks, the insomnia, the chronic pain, the GI issues. All of the ways we know that trauma somatically shows up in our bodies. And too many of them share that they just weren't quite ready to process talk or process their experiences through talk therapy, or they hadn't quite found a modality that felt right for them. And as I was going, so, you know, I'm going through yoga teacher training. I'm simultaneously doing my day job working a sexual violence yield. And I'm also always holding my own lived experience as a survivor and honoring the way that that shows up and the various spaces that I've moved through the world. And I started to see all of the you can't see me. But you know, this, this webbing, this inner connection of, of all of these experiences that we just can't leave the body out of the equation when we're talking about healing from sexual trauma when the body has been a place of such violation. And, you know, I think about how many survivors I worked with that were also trying to navigate the system. You know, oftentimes, the folks who do not believe them, they're told, okay, you need to go and report to this person, if you want to report the assault on campus, if you want to move through the criminal justice system, then here's who you contact. And here's a referral for a support group that's no longer running. So maybe check back about, you know, there, you're just getting a bolage of information.
Lisa Danylchuk 11:04
Like a case manager, like as if you just had this thing happened to you. And now you become a case manager as well.
Zabie Yamasaki 11:11
Exactly, but the birth is so great that we place on survivors and then tend to also not have the tools of embodiment or of knowing, wow, you know, how can I be safely in my body right now? How can I really be attuned to what my nervous system is communicating to me about who I feel safe with and who I trust, you know? It's, there's so much and so I knew through through all of that, but I wanted to create a program that was specifically for survivors of sexual assault that spoke to the language of the body that provided an anchor that provided resourcing that was going to be a great complement to those who might be simultaneously in talk therapy, or in group therapy, or working through the system or resources of support. And also, I found that many survivors would start with trauma-informed yoga, and then feel empowered to seek medical care, or to seek out that appointment with a therapist, because they had gotten to a place within their body where they felt, wow, I'm worthy of additional support. I don't have to carry this alone. So that kind of just it was, as I'm describing it to you, I feel, you know, I feel just emotional thinking about just the journey that, that I've been on and, and how, you know, when we do work from a place of our own deep lived experience, it becomes so personal and you feel so connected to it, and you feel so attuned, oftentimes to you know, when survivors are building programs for survivors, I think that's one of the most powerful healing can happen.
Lisa Danylchuk 13:06
And it is amazing to be a part of that, you know, I think you and I both work with mental health professionals and yoga teachers, and that that sort of web, you know, you were making like a web with your hands earlier. But it's like, it does feel that way now. And did you ever feel like people around didn't quite get what you were doing? Or like it was new or different? Or it wasn't? Like, I got a lot of the like, yoga is. I don't know if this is like a generational thing are sort of different stigmas because I think yoga has evolved over time in terms of what people expect it to be, but I would get a lot of the like, oh, that's kind of hippie-dippie, or that's airy-fairy, or, you know, and I think I do think that has changed. And now there's other expectations of what it is. But did you ever meet that in your journey?
Zabie Yamasaki 13:57
Oh, absolutely. And, and, you know, I had to work really hard to carve out this path for myself, because I think, you know, also as a woman of color, working primarily within higher education institutions, and then also making sure that people weren't culturally appropriating the practice as a South Asian woman. There's there were so many, so many things that I was tethered to, and wanting to do the work with integrity, and also make it accessible. And also talk about the research and the benefits. I found myself. You know, anytime I was going into a staff meeting, or anytime I was going into a space where folks were inviting me to talk about the impact of trauma-informed yoga on the healing process for survivors. I wish I had find that I would over-prepare and have all the research and all the numbers that your ancestors knew for centuries that that yoga was a was a healing modality, you know that that started in India as a means to transcend people suffering, but then I found that I was trying to show up in all of these academic spaces and speak their language. So, yes, I definitely was met with resistance. And you know, I always felt like I had to be on my A game. And I'll never forget, you know, when I was still working for the University of California we had President in the Pelotona's task force to end sexual violence across each of the UC campuses. And we had a task force meeting and they asked me, they're like, you have 10 minutes on the agenda to talk about why trauma-informed yoga should be implemented as a healing modality in each of the sexual assault response offices on every UC campus, 10 minutes. And so, in the room was filled with, you know, it was chiefs of police at every UC campus Title Nine Directors, Care Directors, Survivors, Student Activists, so you know, also holding this lens of, wow, there are multiple audiences that I'm trying to speak to. So if I have 10 minutes, what was the most powerful thing that I can talk about? And, you know, I ended up kind of starting with just this awareness around the physiological impact of trauma on the body and how we have to create multiple pathways for survivors to heal because as we all know, not every survivor is going to heal in the same way. And, you know, it ended up going well, and it's now implemented at every UC campus. But I mean, it's so I'm speaking with you about this, because I don't think I take time, often to reflect just how much has gone into building the work that you and I do in the world. I think sometimes people think, oh, you do you teach yoga and you like, I don't think people recognize how much goes into integrating this practice into non-traditional spaces.
Lisa Danylchuk 17:22
it's a lot. And I think it is, like a very lived experience, infused passion to write. I mean, I know for myself, it was like, studying all this stuff. And then recognizing that yoga was the thing that was the most healing for me when I needed it the most. Right? It's like, why, why was it that and why wasn't it these other things that we do have at that point in time, like, you know, late 90s, early 2000s, like we, we didn't really have that we definitely didn't have the level of research we have now about yoga. But I don't think like trauma-informed yoga, I had never heard that, like, I didn't understand, but I understood like, my body was going mhmm, yes, keep doing this keep showing up. And I was moving through things. And I was so curious of like, I have to be able to describe this to other people, because I'm in all these academic circles and other places where not getting something that I am getting over here. And so if I really want to be, you know, in the world of individual or social or collective healing, like, have to use this experience, like there's no way to. I would be leaving part of myself to the side, which thankfully, yoga helps us to not do would be leaving this really important jewel out, and that would just feel completely out of integrity. So I think that I think you and I share some of that, where when we have a personal experience, and then and then for me, it was after really getting the words for it and being able to communicate it. I also see a lot of people who feel like, I know this is helpful, but I can't explain it. Like if you asked me to sit down and say in 10 minutes to that board, I would, I wouldn't know where to start like it, there's there, it's in there, but it's not quite communicable yet. And I feel like that's where, like, learning all the ways. I feel like I'm constantly learning new new ways, right? Like, even recently, I was listening to a neuroscience podcast and they talked about how, when you're learning at the end of your learning state, like if you sit and close your eyes for I forget the amount of time like three minutes or something. Your hippocampus plays backwards, everything you just learned, and like kind of downloads it into your brain so you can really take in the learning and I'm like, hello Shavasana like things that just close your eyes at the end of the learning session. And I'm like, okay, so there's just constantly more coming through. But there was something that that stood out to me as you were describing, you know, these dynamics in academic settings too, which is, a lot of people, this is starting to change. But a lot of people don't learn about trauma in their academic programs, or in their even internships, and so, like starting to change for sure. And trauma-informed care and trauma-informed work is much more common. But where did you learn about trauma? Was it in a master's program? Was it in your training at work? Did you have to seek it out on your own? Did you learn about it from your own experience? The people in front of you? Probably all the above, but where did it come from? At first?
Zabie Yamasaki 20:37
Yeah, all of the above? I mean, it's really hard to pinpoint one specific thing, because it definitely, you know, my master's is in higher education administrations and Student Affairs. And so of course, we didn't, I didn't have any courses on trauma. And fortunately, you in grad school. And beyond that, you know, there's obviously something so powerful about survivors, creating programs, because, again, there's so much innate wisdom, that's there, we have a language to describe things that are not from that, you know, white male researcher voice, which a lot of a lot of the books, unfortunately, in the trauma field, you know, don't provide almost like that soulful, intersectional, affirming, compassionate, tender lens of looking at trauma. You know, I think when I wrote my book, that was something that was really important to me to write the book, from a lens of many of the folks reading this book may be mental health professionals, and maybe yoga teachers there, they also may be survivors, you know, and that may have brought into doing this work, which brought them to picking up this book to learn more. And so how can I write this book from a lens of holding people who are doing all of the holdings, and is really, really essential to the language that I use the opportunities for pacing and taking breaks. If I wrote something, for example, about statistics, or how common sexual violence is in the world, then I made sure to kind of bring it back to the breath. And as you were reading that, notice what might have come up for you, if you feel triggered in your body, I invite you to flip to the pages in the back of the book. So you can do some of their practices just so many of the the saw the self study that I've done around trauma, all the books that I read, the trainings that I've done, I'm will forever be grateful for that psychoeducation around my own lived experience as a survivor and everything that I learned to integrate into my work. And also, I'm still learning and you are such a great teacher. For me, you know, Lisa uses the term, the importance of taking a trauma fast. And I think when we do this work, when when we live it, and when we do this work, and we're not only teaching to survivors, but we're holding space for others who are doing this work, we have to find ways to increase our margins and to create space, and to not fill up our days with all of the things you know where our bodies are not meant to absorb this, this much trauma-related material. And so, so yeah, I think I'm kind of in a, in a roundabout way trying to answer your question because I just try to offer a lot of softness and compassion into the way that I show up and do the work and less from sort of in, you know, I can talk about the neurobiology of trauma and the impact of trauma on the body in the brain. But I want to do it in a way that is acknowledging that, you know, that's not shaming survivors for the trauma symptoms that they do have or the coping strategies that they've had to rely on to keep them safe. It's it's from this deep understanding of seeing people and knowing that the journey is not linear. And if you're reading something that's activating that, we can affirm that and acknowledge that this is not easy and that we can be really passionate about this work and want to help others and simultaneously recognize our own boundaries within that and to take really good care of ourselves.
Lisa Danylchuk 25:00
And to need a break from it sometimes not only just in order to sustain it, but just for the sake of the break, right? Like, I feel like we in a sort of, I guess, American or probably beyond that at this point, but like working productivity culture, we quantify, we sort of quantify rest because it allows you to keep going. And it's like, well, what about just for the sake of it, right? So I think those trauma fasts for me, I have it that's like when I'm going away for the weekend, and I want to bring a book, and I have 12 books that are about, you know, work-related stuff at this point, you know, yoga, trauma, mindfulness, breathing, whatever. And I'm like, Can someone give me like a real light romance novel or something that I can just get into and read through? And it's not like there's not going to be any trauma in it, because there's trauma in almost everything. But it's not the point, right? Like, maybe this is fantastical, or maybe it's otherworldly, or whatever it is, but I want to get into a narrative that so many narratives are based around, coming up against essentially a trauma challenge and moving through that. So I'll even like go look for a movie and have a really hard time finding something. It's like comedy, or documentary, that's, you know, just about nature or something. Sometimes athleticism stuff, but even that people share their trauma story and why they're running so hard or doing their thing. And so it's like, hard to find something, especially these days, I think we are collectively digesting a lot of trauma in so many ways. And so it's, it's challenging to step away from it, we don't want to abandon it. But at the same time, it's important to live and not be pulled into you know, the word we would use the trauma vortex not be pulled into the trauma vortex, but to just like live your life. One thing that stands out to me as you're talking is how a big part of providing, I'll say like our holding space for trauma work is doing our own, and how there is still, in my opinion, a significant deficit in higher education in terms of how much people teach about trauma, and how there's also in order to teach about it, you know, you start learning and you go, Oh, I recognize that. And that reminds me of my family. And that reminds me of what happened to me. And so there's almost this requisite of, or this parallel process of doing our own work in order to learn about it. And I think about the sort of barriers to trauma-informed work being in higher education. And I really think that's one of them. Because a lot of higher ed culture is, in my humble opinion, a recipe for burnout. Like, it's really cranking out productivity, and yeah, moving some important things forward, but sometimes at the, you know, at what cost like sometimes at the cost of, of, you know, I have some dear friends who are professors and programs where I learned and beyond and it's, it's too much, you know, it's, it's a lot. And so I think about how moving through and processing trauma requires space, right. Like, even even, I can think about some of the early yoga classes, I took it since that wreck and, you know, maybe six months, three months into my yoga practice laying in Shavasana. And then and only then after a few months of repeating this practice and creating more space for myself creating more space for myself going oh, and emotion, like I didn't even realize that was there. Where did that come from? Oh, I think I know where that came from. Like, it's a process to, to really own some of that stuff. And so there's this sort of, I don't know, political or evolutionary side of it, of like, curricula evolving and, you know, people getting trained, but there's also this very personal element of providers, facilitators, teachers, having the space having a culture that supports them, doing their own work for it to get there. I would love for every program like that involves humans, or animals or life involve some kind of trauma-informed education, right? It's like, okay, maybe if you're okay, even if you're on computers like humans use computers. So there you go. I would love for it to be everywhere. But I do think it's, it's a big ask in that way, right to get to fully get it integrated. And to not just have it be a like a report, you know, a literature review of which has its value and its place, but like, you don't just want to trauma-informed class to be a literature review of all the randomized controlled trials, like that's not encompassing the fullness of the experience and the meaning.
Zabie Yamasaki 29:51
I mean, there's so much that you said that was sparking something for me and, you know, I think back to my own journey. As a daughter of immigrants, you know, I haven't had a lot of models for rest in my life. You know, my, my parents came here from India. With such little, you know, my dad, my dad went to pharmacy school in India. But when he came here, they moved to New York and he had to repeat everything all over again and went and ran into so many barriers. And started off as doing deliveries at a pharmacy, even though he had the credentials of a pharmacist in India, had to go through school all over again, luckily met the right people on their path. Dad opened up two of his own pharmacies, and only just recently retired, he worked every single day, including Saturdays. Sundays, he was with us, but his mind was, you know, oftentimes worrying about the pharmacy, and it's a high-stress job. My mom gave so much she was at every soccer game, every volleyball game, every softball game, showing up with the snacks doing the accounting for my dad's pharmacy because she's an accountant. And, you know, I grew up just in that high achieving mentality, went to a great college, the Irvine did all the extracurriculars filled all of my time, you know, I think about what if we had this curriculum in college to help us learn how to rest to help us learn embodiment, to help identify the ways that trauma shows up collectively in the world and in our bodies, and how might that shaped the way that we interact with one another? How might that shaped the culture of a, as you said, it is a recipe for burnout, both when you're a student, and as a professional working, whether that's faculty staff, you know, I'm seeing it across the board. And then even in the pandemic, to just how many of my colleagues are just pushed to their very edge? Like, why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Why are we operating within a system that's not set up for us to thrive? And then I think about the work that you and I do, and just how much magic is there and, and how much even the something that I love doing is training, you know, my trainings are now open to anyone to, to faculty, within higher education institutions, to educators, to activists, and to see the ways in which they take these tools, they don't have to be a yoga teacher, you know, they could start their session with with the breath, the with the, with the sacred pause with a moment to notice feet on the ground or hand on the heart and belly and just the way that we can integrate that into spaces that are not predominantly set up. And that way, you know, I think about how many classes that I sat in, in undergrad in psychology classes, and something would be really triggering in class. And, you know, then I'm just sitting there taking notes and just, like trying to muscle through it, when there were so many tools that I know now that maybe I could have used back then. So in many ways, I think it's exciting because the field is really evolving and is being integrated into these more non-traditional spaces. And I hope that that's the future for us. Because if the pandemic revealed one thing, it's the way that we're operating is not sustainable. And we're gonna continue to see the effects of that for years to come.
Lisa Danylchuk 34:01
Yeah, and even within the pandemic, it's it's almost like there's, I think for some people just having 100% access to work and being home. It's like, it takes even more of those opportunities for social connection or rest in between a way. I was thinking as you were talking about Becky Stewart because she was she's been doing this. She's at. She's in Boston, I want to say she was at Simmons, I might not have this right, but I can put a link, but she's been doing this like in academic classes, bringing yoga in in such a beautiful way. But I do feel well, I hope that at a certain point, it's not like one person across the country, right? It's not like this different thing for students to come in and go oh, wait, what we're going to we're going to take a few breaths Oh, wait, what we're going to like have time to process something. Oh, we're going to be encouraged to resource ourselves like I'm hoping that there's an evolution in that direction. We don't want to be like, wait, I know someone I know three people do this. So what are some of the tools you felt like you I know at this point in your career? There are some things you have said on repeat, right that you're like, let's go back to the basics. And let's come back to this. So what are some of the things that stand out for you that are like, basic? A great place to start. A great place to come back to could be even something that's a part of your daily mindset and practice now.
Zabie Yamasaki 35:34
Gosh, I would say one of the most powerful somatic tools that I've been integrating lately is portioning, which is essentially taking stock of my energy. And I really encourage folks to do this on a daily, weekly basis, just you know, maybe it's on Sunday. Maybe you're kind of reflecting on your week and doing a quick body scan of sort of energetically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. What have you experienced within the past week? And how is that showing up for you, you know, are you feeling rested and full Are you maybe you had a great weekend where you didn't do any work, and you're feeling ready to tackle the week ahead? Maybe you had a really difficult week, and you're feeling that exhaustion, sort of still lingering in your body and looking at your week, you know, if you're noticing, wow, I have to give a three-hour training on Monday. That means I'm going to schedule in a nap or a hike or time to sit in the sun or time for connection, right? Because we're all going to need different things at different times, depending on, you know, what our nervous system says. And so, you know, that's something I've been doing a lot lately, I used to try to keep up with those pre-pandemic standards. And, oh, yeah, I can do that three-hour training and then hop on that podcast, and then do that consultation, and then teach that class and now my, my capacity is just so much less. And so being really, really compassionate with myself. You know what, I'm gonna have to cancel that, or I'm gonna have to reschedule that. I'm honoring my capacity in the way that I can show up in that space. And I just don't have it in me this week. And I've just been really unapologetic about designing my days and my life with intention. And my son is four. And, you know, we never know what kind of week every week it's like, oh, okay, there was a COVID exposure. And so he's not going to be able to just go to school this week. And how do we rearrange? The schedule is just a different world. And I just hope for all of us, there's this mantra that I that literally has and continues to get me through the pandemic from Dr. Susanna Muńoz. And she says, I'm not behind or unproductive. I'm doing as much as my mind and body are allowing me to do under perpetual stress and fatigue. And that's Dr. Susanna Munoz and it's just so every time. I've memorized it now I've every time I read it to myself, it's just a reminder that it's okay. You know, you're doing you're best, You're worthy of rest. You're worthy of flexibility and understanding and support. And we're not meant to do this alone, you know, just these these really tender messages that I've spent most of my life ignoring, and just powering through and let me do the things, you know. Yeah.
Lisa Danylchuk 38:58
It's that, you know, I kind of resonated on on a very different level. But, you know, my dad moved from New York to California, and he had this like, I'm gonna have to go back fear and worked like 50 hours a week when we were kids. And there's that energy within your family. There's that energy within the culture that's just like, Go Go, go work, work, work, get it done. Like there's like a fear underneath it. I don't know if this is true for you. But that's like how I feel around it. It's like this. Spinning on top of a fear that like something terrible is gonna happen if you stop and I think a lot about that. I mean, my dad was also in the Vietnam War and got shot in the arm and trauma right right there and lost a bunch of his good friends. And it's like, that energy and we can know how much time we have today. But like, go into the whole origins of the United States and all the trauma that occurred on this land and all the trauma and all that, you know, whether it's from the victim or the, you know, offender. I'll just say or exploiter like there's so much historical trauma. And this is where when we learn about trauma, it's it's everywhere. But I really feel like that energy that we live in, in the States and around the world, it's, you know, colonialism isn't limited to here, there's this impact of harm and exploitation and trauma. And then it's within our, sometimes our own bloodlines most of the time, somewhat in some way, in our, in our own physiology, but also in the collective culture. And when I, when I hear myself say that this like spinning on top of a fear of what happens if I don't do this, like that's such a common response, in the wake of like, a very specific trauma to feel like, I can't stop or I'm going to feel the feelings, I can't stop or I'm going to be overwhelmed, I can't stop or I'm going to feel sad, or whatever the thing is. And so I feel like resting is so important. It's also sometimes really challenging, like, you know, I've led retreats where I'll just let people know, hey, I know you think it's going to just be like feet up by the pool, and I hope it is for you. But it might also be really hard to finally have some space to feel everything you feel. So just know that like you're not, there's not something wrong with you like this is a very normal process to finally stop and then feel all this stuff. And so the opposite of that spinning. Right? Like what's that's where I really try to resource like, and I'm just thinking this last weekend, Alex and I went out to Big Sur and camped. It so nice had my phone off for like 24 hours. And I just lay on a table and stare up at the trees and like that, to me is like life well lived. Right? Guy so enjoying it I so love. There's no productivity in there. And I was also reading this book actually think you would really like have you read 4000 weeks. I think it's all of our income, I think you would love it. It's exactly what we're talking about right now, I want to have him on the podcast because I just feel like he he talks about it from a time perspective of like, all these productivity hacks and how we think we're going to eventually get ahead of everything and be on top of everything. And it's like, you do all the things to try to do that. But then you're just expending your whole life doing that. Right? Instead of saying like, nope, this is laying on the table, I'm looking at the trees, or just saying nope, have to cancel that, you know, I don't have the energy, I don't have the bandwidth for that today. So I love what you're describing. And I love that, that mantra, hopefully, we can like pull it up and put it in the show notes and attribute it because it's it's powerful to just their self-compassion in that there's patience in that. And there's the opposite of that spinning on top of this deep fear feeling. It's just like, you know, it's okay, it's okay, we're gonna, things are gonna still be things, we will keep living.
Zabie Yamasaki 43:04
Absolutely, and just this this deep knowing you're enough, like, you are truly enough, you don't, you could stop right now and you don't you don't have to do anything. You're enough just for existing, you know, it's so much of my work, helping to ground survivors in their own worthiness. And a lot of like the neuroplasticity, the post-traumatic growth, all of that comes from this deep embodied knowing of working to get to a place of knowing that you're enough you know, and, and that is so hard I so resonate with everything you were saying about how challenging rest is and how difficult it is when you're so used to living in survival mode and then to feel safety in your body can actually feel really scary and foreign and, and to be really gentle with yourself in that process of learning to rest. I know, you know, for example, I've done this work since 2006. And this was the first year that I did not book my entire April because April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and typically that's my busiest where I'm speaking and training and this year I just told myself you know, I think about all the educators, the survivor advocates, folks in the field, who feel like they need to do something every single day of April. And I'm like you do the work all year long. You you don't need to squeeze every every ounce of yourself into every day of April. What who What are you trying to prove like you are already enough you're already doing the work and so I had to you know, practice what I preach and really did so much less this April. And it felt so right it like I was on a hike with my husband. And we took some photos. And, you know, usually at the beginning of April, I'm so stressed and thinking about, you know, preparing for all the things and just that I could go on a hike with him at the beginning of April and have space on my calendar. You know, that's how I'm wanting to show up to do work that I love, and also live a life that I love and create space for all parts of me.
Lisa Danylchuk 45:33
Yeah, and I feel like that shift from the sort of spinning and the stress into just investing in like, quality time and a life well lived, is really huge for providers, facilitators, teachers, leaders, it can feel like, I mean, I remember when I was working with commercial sexual exploitation, like nothing I ever do, is going to be be enough externally to bring this to, to an end, you know, I was working in Oakland, it's like, even if I just said, within the city limits of Oakland, let alone the whole world, like, I can't fix this. I mean, and that's really hard to, to sort of connect with that as some level of truth. And I remember just feeling like I could live and die doing this work, and it's still going to be a problem. And so within that, where and how do I find joy? And how do I find, you know, how do I appreciate the impact I am having for the people I am working with within that context? And I think it's kind of like the worlds you end up stepping into a world where you see a problem really, clearly, and from a close perspective. And, you know, I know a lot of people like this, we want to be a part of the solution, and we want to solve it. And I think being a part of the solution and, and having that weight to like putting it on your own shoulders to, to solve it are two very different things. And we can feel really good in our lives out being a part of the solution and contributing and sharing what we've learned and putting it out there and getting it out to people who can also use it and share it. But that's very different than that, like, carrying the whole world or the whole, even one problem on your shoulders. Because that's, to me, that's a recipe for just, well, I guess burnout too. But also just like dissatisfaction, right? And it's like when you stop and look around at this world. It's bananas. Like we were just talking before we started recording about like, every human being you see came from a mother and lived nine months inside of someone's body. That's incredible. This tree didn't have any flowers last week, and now it's blooming in their bees. Like, I feel like any given moment, I can look outside and just be kind of blown away by how magical and how crazy amazing it is just to be alive. And like that is something I value, right? Like those moments, if I haven't had a moment like that all week, like, oh, I'm going down.
Zabie Yamasaki 48:11
Yes! And the wonder and, you know, we love what you said, because, you know, I think a lot about the framework of sustainable activism. And I recently read this book by Karen Waldron. It's called The Lightmakers Manifesto.
Lisa Danylchuk 48:33
Mmm yes
Zabie Yamasaki 48:34
Have you read that book or heard about it?
Lisa Danylchuk 48:37
You know, I think I saw it in the bookstore. And like paged through it.
Zabie Yamasaki 48:41
it is such a beautiful book. And it was it's actually I felt like I was reading it at the perfect time because I'm coming up upon my sabbatical is going to be starting in June. And she talks about, you know, how often we think when we're working against, you know, when we're trying to end sexual violence when we're working within fields that are really heavy, that we oftentimes think that that's the only thing that can consume us. That the fight is never going to end, so we have to just keep going. But in order to do this work and show up in ways that are sustainable, she talks about how important connecting to our joy is. And that's exactly what about like the tracking and the art and the wonder and, and just being connected to our humanity. And I actually just recently wrote my children's book, it's called Your Joy Is Beautiful.
Lisa Danylchuk 49:40
Nice love that.
Zabie Yamasaki 49:43
But it's I had to mention it because it's exactly what we're saying of if we can kind of track these tiny moments of joy that we experience in the day. My son is a great teacher for me, you know, he'll oftentimes close my laptop, grab my hand, take me over to his Legos or take me outside. And, you know, those are some of my favorite moments because he reminds me what matters. And yes, my work matters. We do amazing. You know, we make an amazing impact in the world. And you know, what, how are we coming back to the things that anchor us at the same time? So, yeah, the book is all about the ways that we and for me, sometimes the tiny moments are like, oh, wow, I'm having the sip of coffee alone, before anyone is awake. And it almost sounds like I'm the only person who is awake in the world right now. And everything's okay, you know, just are getting a really good parkings that are just little tiny things, they think we lose sight of how those actually make a really big impact on our well-being.
Lisa Danylchuk 50:57
When you talk about your son, I just had this very desk where I'm standing right now Bumi, our we have two dogs, Iris and Bumi. And Bumi will come in and he'll sit and he's huge. He's like 85 pounds. And he'll sit and he'll look up at me with his little innocent eyes. He's listed a little over one right now. And then he does this thing. He just takes his paw and like when he wants you to pat him essentially, or he wants something, he just pause you like this. And it's so funny because I can be like, well in something and I'm like, Oh, I don't want to be interrupted. Because I know it takes me so long to like, get back from an interruption, he'll come and he'll just paw on me. And I love it when you know, now even more I can turn to him and just look in his little eyes. And my buddy boy, like, what do you want? What do you need? Let's go outside, I'll throw your little red toy that you love. I'll take a few deep breaths. Like it's all good. You know, it's so like, I have a friend who I'd like to have on the podcast, she does somatic experiencing and astrology. And she has like a not a guide dog, but a support dog that is trained to work with people with PTSD. And her dog will come in and like nudge her when she's starting to feel stressed or, or dysregulated in any way. And so sometimes I feel like that's what's happening. Like when we just coming in, he's like, Mama, I don't know what you got going on. But your energy is all kinds of funky. Like let's go outside, I guess not as much for him. It's hard for me, he's like, hey, hey, stop that, this beautiful outside, go through the red ball. And you'll notice it.
Zabie Yamasaki 52:38
Yes. Isn't that amazing? Using and, and how that resets your your own energy and the way that you then can can really show up to what you were just doing. It reminds me so I love this quote from Maya Angelou, is your energy introduces you before you even speak?
Lisa Danylchuk 52:54
Oh, yeah.
Zabie Yamasaki 52:58
Wow, I think about that a lot. Just there's so many lessons, in that there's so many layers to unpack in that of, you know, what does it mean to energetically show up into the various spaces that we hold, and that we move through. And when my son closes my laptop and takes me outside, or, you know, it's such a reset for me, and then I can then show you know, I'm so much more full when I then you know, have to hop back on Zoom, or I'm holding a space. It's just, it's all interconnected. And I just that that's my wish for folks really, is to really deeply connect to those moments of ease and have those be teachers and just want more of that for all of us. We all need more ease.
Lisa Danylchuk 53:51
That's really funny, because I was gonna ask you like, what tools that you've learned help you as a mom, and it's kind of opposite. The kids coming regularly. Coming in to deep breath at the certain moment, and the grounding when things are getting out of control. And, you know, being able to hold it lightly. But yeah, that's beautiful. So I'm curious, we've talked a little bit about this, but how do you what's your hope for the future of trauma-informed yoga? How would you like to see the yoga world and the trauma-informed yoga world?
Zabie Yamasaki 54:29
I love this question. And I've been thinking about this a lot because I feel like we're at this really exciting moment of a really diverse authors who are writing books at the intersection of race and trauma and trauma-informed yoga and healing and, you know, just this year alone, you know, Dr. Gail Parker released her book on Yoga for Racial and Ethnic Based Trauma. Octavia wrote a book, Pause, Rest and Be. Tracy Stanley Radiant Rest. Jacoby wrote A Queer Dharma, you know, my book came out this year, both Nitida Gessle. And Dr. Sheena Yang are writing books on, you know, basically intersectionality trauma-informed yoga, working with black survivors of sexual trauma. I mean, it's just so amazing. I feel like we're at this time where these books are being integrated into yoga teacher trainings, and we're finally having conversations that from voices who have been left out of the mainstream dialogue for a long time, and so that is what my hope is, is just to continue to see this trend, to continue to see really diverse authors writing books on this topic, and speaking in yoga teacher trainings, and really, you know, to continue seeing this shift of, for so long yoga teacher trainings have not included modules on trauma. And I just, I asked the past couple years, especially that we've had, I just can no longer, that's no longer an option. You know, that's like leaving prenatal modification that you're training like, it's, it is essential. And so that's my hope is that we're really continue to see this just becoming more widely integrated into these trends.
Lisa Danylchuk 56:36
100% agree, and yeah, I it. It's a long journey, I think in terms of yoga, teacher trainings, really valuing and understanding and pulling that in, and I hope we are at the point where it's, you know, essential, it's just like, where do you put your feet in triangle posts, like, it's more important than where you put your feet in triangles, let's go on. You can put your feet anywhere in triangle pose, it's fine, fine. He'll be okay. Your feet are a little this way or that like, yeah, it's really centering right are our values and the purpose and the really re-centering the the whole person healing opportunities that are there in a yoga practice.
Zabie Yamasaki 57:17
And, and just creating spaces where people really feel seen and feel held. And even if you're not teaching a specifically a class that you call trauma-informed, this light, you know, integrations that you're infusing into the way that you teach into the language that you use into your, supportive presence into your just nuanced understanding of how people might be showing up. And what a difference that's making and integrating those moments of compassion that we all need more of, because that triple that ripple effect is is so real, of the ways in which you're teaching inspires the folks who are in the room and how they then go out and create those spaces. For others. It really matters, it makes such a huge impact. And so it's really exciting to me, and it's been exciting to just seeing this book, get into the hands of folks who I didn't think would be reading it like a non-traditional, perfect. I mean, there are lawyers who are reading it. There's folks who I didn't think I you know, I obviously want everybody to, to read this book, but you kind of write it from a lens of thinking who's going to pick it up. And just seeing how expansive the tools are, have been really inspiring to me.
Lisa Danylchuk 58:43
Yes, I love that I used to teach a yoga class at a law firm. And I would like to take a picture of like the yoga mats and the yoga blocks right next to all the thick casefiles Like, the number you know, Roman numeral case files, and then it's like, Yo, it belongs everywhere. I love that some robbery, buddy. So what you know, a lot of people are still really struggling these days. I'm curious if you have any. You know, we've kind of said a lot of things throughout our time today. But is there anything that comes to mind for those that are like really in the thick of coping with a loss or trauma? Like what what would you offer to them? To those people listening?
Zabie Yamasaki 59:24
Eileen, just say, you know, the most important thing to remember is that healing is not linear and to pace yourself and to offer yourself grace and compassion and knowing that you are the expert of you. And you deserve to surround yourself with folks who support the health of your nervous system, I think, especially when we're talking about loss and trauma. Sometimes it can really reveal the people who are our people. On the people who are not, you know, because I have fortunately experienced a lot of trauma and loss in my life. And I think, you know, it's, it's been so revealing that you know, people can show up for me when I'm shiny and publishing books and doing all the things and on CNN, but then when I'm in the depths of my despair, and I need, you know, just to be seen exactly as I am, and to not feel like I need to be fixed and to just folks to honor me to be able to sit with me in the darkness, when I can't see the light myself I that those are those are special special humans, so know that you're deserving of that kind of support. And you deserve to take as much time as you need to move through at your own pace.
Lisa Danylchuk 1:00:50
That's beautiful. Thank you for that. What gives you hope these days?
Zabie Yamasaki 1:00:57
Oh my gosh, that definitely my son, you know, he is my rainbow baby. And he's such a miracle in so many ways, I think, you know, he definitely carries his brother's spirit with him. And there are so many moments, you know, recently, he, he will not go to sleep lately, unless I lay with him. And he puts us we're in his little toddler bed, which is basically a crib that's been converted into a bad so you can imagine it's very small. So I'm in there with him. And he puts little hands on my face. And he's like, Mommy, you're so brave, you're so amazing. Oh, I love your hair and love your eyes. I love your teeth. I love your fingers. Like he, like his own little body scan with me. Or nightly ritual lately, and it's so innocent and precious and magical. And it just it gives me hope. I think parenting is its own form of activism. It's really, really, and there's many ways to parent in the world. And I think that it's just been special for me to, to affirm with him from a very young age that, that he, you know, he is beautiful, just as he is and just wanting to anchor him in those messages at a really young age and, and also not shield him from the world that we live in really parenting from a social justice lens is it takes work, you know? And does it gives me hope our future generations give me a lot of hope? And, and this children's book that I it's going to be published next year. And it's just super exciting to kind of, you know, it's connected to my work, obviously, in some ways, but it's not the specific trauma lens. It's, it's I think that's what happened appealing to right we, as we sold, our work continues to evolve. And so it's just a really exciting passion project for me, and I can't wait to see it out in the world.
Lisa Danylchuk 1:03:24
That's a trauma fast right there. I'm gonna order it to read for myself. Take it on vacation with me just over and over and over. I mean, we need it right. We need play. We need simple books with pictures. We need love. We need joy, we need rest. We need all the things. Yeah. Thank you so much for taking the time today to come on. And to share all this with us. I feel like I know, there's so many places we could go in so much. So many other avenues we could cover. So perhaps we'll have you back on the show at some point and we'll go down another path. But for now, how can people connect with you if they want to keep in touch.
Zabie Yamasaki 1:04:06
Well. It's been such an honor to do this with you, Lisa, thank you. And you can connect with me at my website, which is zabieyamasaki.com. And on Instagram, it's transcending trauma with yoga. And then on the website, you can see all the information about the book, which is Trauma-Informed Yoga for Survivors of Sexual Assault, Practices for Healing and Teaching with Compassion, as well as the accompanying affirmation card deck. And if you're interested in training with me, there's information about my trauma-informed yoga teacher training and a new course that I released on reclaiming rest, which is all about embracing the biology of our nervous system to foster self-compassion and there's a number of trauma-informed meditations. Thank you so much Lisa for us. such an amazing human. And I'm so grateful for your light in the world and the work that you do and just you're just this beautiful, powerful presence. And it's just been such an honor to be with you today.
Lisa Danylchuk 1:05:14
Thanks so much for listening. My hope is that you walk away from these episodes feeling supported, and like you have a place to come to find the hope and inspiration you need to take your next small step forward. For more information and resources, please visit howwecanheal.com There you'll find tons of helpful resources and the full transcript of each show. Thanks so much for your messages, feedback, and ideas about the podcast. I love hearing from you and I so appreciate your support. There are lots of ways you can support the show and I'm grateful for every little bit of love you share. If you love the show, please leave us a review on Apple, Spotify, Audible, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also subscribe on YouTube to get updates every week. You can always visit howwecanheal.com/podcast to share your thoughts and ideas I love hearing from you. So keep your comments coming. If you'd like to stay connected in between episodes, you can also text me the word HEAL to 888-858-0811. That's 888-858-0811. That number has a lot of eights in it. I'll send you some inspiration and support a few times a month and you can text me back there too. Before we wrap up, I want to be clear that this podcast isn't offering any prescriptions. It's not advice or any kind of diagnosis. Your decisions are in your hands. And we encourage you to consult with any relevant health care professionals you may need to support you through your unique path of healing. I'd also like to send thanks to our guests today to Christine O'Donnell and Celine Baumgartner of Bright Sighted Podcasting, and to everyone who helps support this podcast directly and indirectly. Alex, thanks for taking the dogs out while I record. Last week, I'd love to give a shout-out to my big brother man who passed away in 2002. He wrote this music and it makes my heart so happy to share it with you now.
Comments are closed